“It is clear to all Great Americans that this employee-exploiting, sweatshop-promoting, corporation has no regard for society, and serves no purpose other than arming terrorists to wreak havoc upon the innocent children, and selfless politicians, of the Great Republic we hold so dear.”
“Therefore, along with the recent bills calling for the ban of high-capacity “clips”, Euro-terrorist plastic handguns, and the bill making it a federal felony for any private citizen to posses a weapon within 1000 feet of an elected official, I ask the members of this august body to join me in supporting my bill that will, once and for all, end the scourge that these multi-state retail Cartels of Death pose to the citizens of this Great Nation.”
“Further, I invite all members to join me at noon (in the Lenin Conference Room) for a “Lunch-and-Learn” seminar to help them understand the challenges that lie ahead for us. Representatives of various peace-loving worker’s organizations will also be available to answer your questions and validate your campaign-contribution vouchers.”
“Thank you Madam Speaker, I now yield the remainder of my time for an acappella rendition of God Bless America, sung by the Dixie Chicks…”